Questioning one's sexuality

Questioning one's sexuality is natural.

Most people experience erotic feelings about members of the same sex at some point in their lives.

The American Psychological Association reports that a person can experience varying degrees of attraction to both genders yet are heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual.

Sexual orientation is a combination of many factors, including gender, ethnicity and personality.

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But what if I had an erection ...?

I had an erection when I saw guys naked in the locker room shower. Does that mean that I am gay?

Not necessarily. Becoming aroused by nakedness, male or female, is sometimes a reaction to sexuality itself. Adolescents, in particular, are often easily sexually aroused. It is natural to be curious about satisfying sexual urges.

Time will tell you if you prefer sexual encounters and emotional attachments exclusively with other males.

If that is the case then you are likely gay.

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But what if I had sex ...?

I had a sexual experience with another guy does that mean I am gay? Again, not necessarily. Sexual behaviors do not always determine sexual orientation. For example, some studies indicate that more than half of all teenagers have had a sexual experience with someone of the same sex, yet the majority of those teens are not gay.

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But what if I masturbated ...?

I have masturbated with other guys. Does that mean I am gay? No. It is natural to be curious about satisfying sexual urges. It is also common for same-gender teens to experiment sexually together. That does not necessarily indicate, however, your lifetime sexual persuasion.

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Erotic experience with both sexes?

I have had erotic experiences with males and females.

Does that mean that I am bisexual? Not necessarily. Sexual orientation is developed over time. You will realize at some point whether or not you prefer emotional and sexual experiences with one or both genders. Some people become aroused by sexuality in any form … the gender of those involved in sexual acts or images is secondary to the actual arousal experienced. It isn't uncommon for heterosexual or homosexual individuals to have fantasies or at some point enjoy sexual encounters with the same gender or the opposite gender ... no matter what their sexual orientation may be.

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I prefer same-gender sex

I realize that I prefer sexual experiences and relationships with people of the same gender.

Does this mean that I am homosexual?

Probably. If your sexual behavior and emotional attachments are geared toward the same gender, then you are likely homosexual.

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Ultimately, a time will come when you will know. If, however, you are confused about your sexual orientation … something not unusual during adolescence … counseling may be a beneficial method to help you through this phase.

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Not because you are gay. The American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Psychiatric Association and the National Association of School Psychologists as well as other health professional organizations have long accepted the determination that homosexuality is not a disorder, and therefore is not in need of fixing.

In fact, it's been nearly 30 years since the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a "mental disorder." That official action was done after exhaustive research on homosexual behavior.

However, society as a whole is still adjusting to non-heterosexual behavior. Thus, homosexual and bisexual individuals often face a unique set of prejudices and challenges once their sexual orientation becomes known. You may find yourself in need of help to cope with the reaction of others to your sexual orientation.

There are a number of organizations with outreach services to help individuals deal with the societal prejudices associated with sexual orientation.

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