Become A Better Lover

Are you good in bed?

Well, are you good in bed? Most lovers want to be. But are they? If you have ever asked (or thought to ask) a female partner, "Was it good for you?" or "Did you come?" then read on because you likely could use a few tips to improve your love technique. And even if you and your partner routinely reach orgasm when you make love, the odds are pretty good that there is room for improvement in what goes on behind closed doors.

It may be no surprise to you that 80 percent of men polled said they loved oral sex performed on them. But did you know that 70 percent of women said that they loved oral sex performed on them? The sad truth is that more than 35 million American women today have yet to experienced an orgasm. The overwhelming reason for this dismal statistic is that many women have had lovers who have been unwilling or unable to bring them to climax. Read on if you don't want your woman be become a statistic.

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Get a Clean Start

Take a shower or bath before sex, paying close attention to washing the genital areas. You will feel better knowing you are clean and fresh and that your partner's oral experience will enjoyable.

Shave facial areas closely and groom mustache and beard. Trim your nails … and don't forget your toenails.

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Create the Mood

"Relax and enjoy" it is a mantra that's been echoed for decades by experts in sexual performance … from trailblazing doctors William Masters and Virginia Johnson to the modern-day sex guru Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

Although there are times when rushed, frenzied sex is a turn-on, an ideal sexual encounter is one in which a comfortable mood is established. Consider soothing music, glasses of wine, scented candles, sexy clothing or anything else that will create an inviting atmosphere for you and your partner.

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Vibrators: A Turn-On
for Men and Women

Open Up! Your mind that is … the best sex is often the result of adventuresome explorations of each other and experimentation with positions and techniques.

While intercourse is the most common encounter between lovers, there are many satisfying sexual experiences to be had during foreplay or as an alternative to traditional intercourse.

Some partners enjoy trying new positions for intercourse; others find that watching each other masturbate can be another major turn-on.

Sensual body and genital massages are also enjoyable ways to learn about your lover's sensitive areas while getting your own erotic juices pumping. One way women AND MEN can experience heightened sexual sensations is by utilizing vibrators -yes, fellas, vibrators are for you too!

It's likely no surprise that massaging a woman's clitoris with a vibrator can be an easy means to bring her to climax. But according to Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a noted expert in human sexuality, men can enjoy extreme pleasure and reach orgasm if a vibrator is used to gently massage the penis and testicles as well as the sensitive perineum area (the skin that spans between the genitals and the anus).

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Oral Sex Tips for Him

The key to a woman's orgasm often lies between the lips of her vulva in the clitoris, a tiny nodule often no larger than a pencil eraser. Learning to manipulate the clitoris will unlock the door to incredible pleasure for her and the ultimate sexual experience for both of you.

One way that is likely to become a highlight of her sexual encounter is stimulating the clitoris through oral sex. One poll cites that nearly 70 percent of women say that they love oral sex performed on them; while another 18 percent say they like it. So, if you want to satisfy your woman's favorite fantasy, read on.

Start by making sure she is in a comfortable position. Lie next to her or above her and begin to kiss her neck and breasts. Add a licking and sucking motion as you move down her body toward her belly while gently massaging her inner thighs. Continue licking and sucking her belly area, between her bellybutton and her pubis, and the span of skin on either side of her pubic area (between the top of her thigh and her mound).

Slide several fingers into her vagina to moisten then massage between the lips of her vulva as you feel for that little nodule. Once you locate the clitoris begin stroking it with your fingers while kissing her inner thighs. As you move your head toward her mound, use the fingers of one hand to part the lips of the vulva and expose the clitoris. You may have to gently pull the skin slightly toward her belly to fully uncover the clitoris as it may be hiding under a small hood of skin.

Lick the skin on the inside of the lips as you slide your tongue to the clitoris. Use the tip of your tongue to flick the node as you gently suck it. After several minutes (or longer), slide several fingers in and out of her vagina while you continue to suck and lick her clitoris.

Many women find that being sucked and fucked (finger-fucked or dildo fucked) at the same time is the ultimate sexual experience and can produce multiple orgasms.

Remember that many women need more foreplay time than men, so you may want to begin clitoral stimulation early on or encourage her to do so. A vibrator is a handy "warm-up" tool that you or she can manipulate during foreplay. Penis-shaped vibrators can play a dual role as they can be utilized for clitoral massage before oral stimulation, then used as a dildo while you perform oral sex.

Another tip that can improve the cunnilingus experience for both partners is to coat the clitoris and vulva with an edible, room-temperature substance of choice (wines and puddings are popular). Not only will she enjoy watching you "paint" her pussy with the material, but you will also enjoy licking the material off while performing oral sex.

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Oral Sex Tips
(for Her)

One poll cites that nearly 80 percent of men say that the love oral sex performed on them; another 15 percent say they like it. So, if you want to satisfy your man's favorite fantasy, read on because to most men oral sex can be the highlight of his sexual encounter.

What's more, many men find that watching oral sex performed on them is an added turn-on. With that in mind, you may want to position yourselves before a mirror or place a mirror nearby so that he can watch you go down on him.

Another tip that can improve the fellatio experience for both partners is to coat the penis with an edible, room-temperature substance of choice (wines and puddings are popular). Not only will he enjoy watching you "paint" his penis with the material, but you will also enjoy licking it off while performing oral sex.

Start by making sure he is in a comfortable position and gently stroke the inner side of one of his legs, starting near the ankle and slowly working your way up toward his scrotum. Repeat this stroking on his other leg before touching the genital area. After stroking both legs several times, end your final stroke by sliding your hand to the perineum (the skin between his anus and scrotum) and gently massage with your fingertips before stroking his testicles and the base of the scrotum. Grasp the base of his penis in your hand and slide your hand slowly up and down as you begin licking and softly sucking the tip of his penis. Move your hand just below the head as you lick the top and then lick the rim of the head as you slide your hand down the shaft. Lick the shaft just below the head and continue down one side toward the base, then lick up the other side toward the head. Return your mouth to the top of the penis and dab your tongue at the tiny hole, start to kiss the head with a sucking motion (just as you might the peak atop a cone of frozen custard). Close your mouth on the head and play with the head with your tongue while you continue sucking. Be sure to continue stroking his penis up and down with your clenched hand (don't squeeze too hard). Move your hand slowly down the penis as you begin moving your mouth down the shaft. Gently massage his testicles with your hand as you suck and lick your way back down the shaft toward the base; then repeat the action up the other side toward the head. (You may also want to lick each testicle and gently take each in your mouth before moving back up the shaft.)

Once your mouth reaches the top of the penis linger there and repeat the sucking and licking action on the head. When you are ready to go down on him, begin taking the head in your mouth as you suck. Meanwhile, once again grasp the shaft of the penis and perform a stroking motion as you suck the head and begin taking some of the penis shaft into your mouth. Swirl your tongue as you suck and take more and more of the penis in your mouth as you increase the fisted stroking action. Synchronize your up and down stroking with the up and down sucking motion. Lovers who are experienced at fellatio usually learn to comfortably accommodate the entire penis in their mouths … or whatever extends beyond the clenched hand.

If oral sex is part of foreplay, be sure your partner tells you or indicates when ejaculation is imminent. This will enable you to cease oral stimulation in time for him to begin intercourse. Many men enjoy fellatio performed until they ejaculate. Discuss the possibility with your lover beforehand so you are prepared to pleasure him until he is spent. If you are performing fellatio on a longtime lover … and you know that he is disease free … you may want to continue sucking his penis until he fully ejaculates.

If he is truly disease free then his semen is safe to swallow.

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Be Smart and Safe

MyHealthyPenis cautions lovers to remember that exchanging body fluid is the way to contract AIDS and other diseases. Remember, if you have gum or mouth sores you are at greater risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases through kissing or oral sex.

. MyHealthyPenis.com joins the Center for Disease Control in strongly recommending safe sex and condom use.

If you have questions or concerns about safe sex or sexually transmitted diseases, call the toll free Center for Disease Control National STD/AIDS Hotline. The confidential hotline is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Call 1-800-342-2437 (English); and 1-800-344-7432 (Spanish). There is also a TTY service for Deaf and Hard of Hearing … 1-800-243-7889.

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